Ten Years of Marriage Equality

As a kid growing up in the 90s, same-sex marriage was often at the heart of the culture wars. Most adults in my life spoke about it as if it was the ultimate representation of degeneracy, sin, and the downfall of a “Christian” nation. So, before I met my husband, I never once imagined getting married, not even to my previous boyfriends. It was not as if I dismissed the thought of marriage; rather, it never occurred to me at all.

Three years ago, my husband and I were able to get married, and we still talk about it as the best day of our life. It’s true that even without a legal recognition of our marriage, we could have held a spiritual ceremony and thrown a big party. But the fact is that words matter, laws matter, and for a society that claims to value liberty and justice for all recognition that our marriage and commitment is no better and no worse than a heterosexual one matters.

George Fox once said that “the right joining in marriage is the work of the Lord only, and not the priests’ or magistrates’; for it is God’s ordinance and not man’s; and therefore Friends cannot consent that they should join them together: for we marry none; it is the Lord’s work, and we are but witnesses.” And it's true - no priest, cop, president, or homophobic family member can take away what we know is real. We never needed the state to validate the sanctity of our love.

And yet... it feels damn good to say "husband."

Happy 10 years of marriage equality, y'all. Happy Pride.